The story of my family's life would not be complete without including my mom's marriage to Jim. It hasn't always been easy, but as I look back on the way my life has changed since he came into our lives, I realize that it was a change for the better.
I remember the exact day my mom told me she was dating. It was about a year after my dad passed away. I was 10. My mom made my favorite dish at the time - taco soup - and waited until my brothers and I were all seated at the dinner table to break the news. I don't remember her exact words, but it went along the lines of, "Kids, I have something to tell you. I have a boyfriend, and his name is Jim."
My stomach dropped. I immediately lost my appetite, put down my spoon and went upstairs to my room. A boyfriend? I was just now getting used to the way our life was without my dad. All I could think was, They're going to get married and my whole life is going to change. In fact, my mom came up to my room after a while and asked me what was wrong. "Are you going to get married?" was the first and only thing that came out of my mouth. My mom laughed and said in her classic-cool demeanor, "Honey, I don't know. We have only been on a few dates."
And the dates continued, for four years. With each passing day, I became more and more used to my mom having another man in her life. It's not that I wanted her to be alone forever; in fact, thinking of my mom being alone made me sadder than anything else. It was just that it was so soon. As a pre-teen, there was nothing worse to me than the thought of being plucked from the small garden I had grown up in and planted in a new garden full of strange fruit.
The proposal - which I knew was inevitable - came at one of the hardest times of transition. I was 13, about to turn 14. I was headed into my second year of middle school. I was trying to fit into my own "clique" at an incredibly small private school. They expect me to MOVE?! Away from my FRIENDS?! I cried and cried and cried. Not to mention, Mean Girls came out that year, solidifying my fear of moving to a new school. Oh my God, I am going to be Cady Heron, eating lunch alone in the bathroom on my first day of school, I told myself. But it was actually the exact opposite.
My transition to the new city was seamless. Thank God I was good at sports, because athletics made making new friends effortless. Some of the friends I made on that first day of school have stuck with me for the past ten years. What I thought was the end of the world actually turned out to be a huge blessing. The people I met and the experiences I endured during middle school and high school helped shape everything I am today. The town I originally grew up in was an Aggie town. If I had stayed, there is a good chance I could have ended up at A&M instead of UT. I COULD HAVE BEEN AN AGGIE. The thought alone makes me cringe.
My relationship with Jim has not always been perfect. We have had our ups and downs, but over the years, we have come to understand and appreciate one another. He makes my mom happy, and at the end of the day, that's all I really want anyway. I may never call him "Dad," but he still stepped in to be with my family (which can be overwhelming at times) in our time of need, and for that, I am thankful.
Families change. Members come and go for reasons that we can't explain. But the good thing about love is that it's ever-accepting of change, and I'm thankful that my home is filled with it.
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